Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
