Having a random hookup so left but love u
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
