the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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