with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
