Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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