They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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