Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
