Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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