OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
