There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
