Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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