It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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