Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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