Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think i have herpe
just one?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
