There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
