he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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