did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
