Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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