we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
A bitchslap is in order.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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