Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
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We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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