having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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