Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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