Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
