Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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