Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Can i not drive my cunt home
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
