I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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