i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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