I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We left the knife in your bed.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
