hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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