I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
