People in love make me want to vomit
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
