I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
