420 ftw
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
