Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
