ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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