I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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