the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize