I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
its not stalking. its research.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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