I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
