Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
