FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
