SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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