Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
