we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
