He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
