I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
