tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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