pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
