I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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