The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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