Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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