well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize