I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
