So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
