she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
