make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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