Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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