I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
