I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
