have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
