either way he was missing a nipple.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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