well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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