this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
