By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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