just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
